First of all, those with the power, feel free to ban me off the forums. And remove this post. I'm Jacob, but online I've gone by many aliases: "K1ll4tr0c1ty", "VanillaIce96", "Link Slinky", "Grimm", "Deidara", "Smiley", "Knifey", "The 5th Espada", "Pineapple" and recently during my Arcadia time frame I played as "Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?", "1", and "Well, I've done all I could do." For those who don't know I'm a convicted cheater who got permanently banned from playing on the Arcadian servers 9 months ago. So now that you know I'm a convicted cheater, what lens do you view me through? I've been a member of the Garry's Mod Community ever since I've had steam; it was the first game I bought along with Goat Simulator 4 years ago. I'm sure there's plenty of those waiting for the moment where I ask for some kind of forgiveness, or request another trial and be let back into the Arcadian community. There's just a stigma that surrounds cheaters, they're scum, and dumb. They're just horrible people and I can agree with that. There are those who'd be thinking, so he's going to tell us his life story, as some sort of excuse for his actions and use that to remedy his permanent banning? To be honest, I expect someone to tell me to fuck off because I'm cheating scum and ban me off the forums because there's no purpose in my being around right? Then there's those who would say he's trying to play with your emotions and gain sympathy. There's just so much criticism that can be thrown at me in this situation that I can't address it all. If you think hard enough you'll come to a conclusion that fits your emotions and reasoning. I don't want this post to be a sad post that attempts to gain sympathy and pity from others. If your only question for me is why I decided to come back. Well, I'd have to give you a loaded answer. I've been a longtime member of this community and others you may recognize, such as AussieTTT, Revlaks Wizard Palace TTT, and Poseidon TTT. People like OzzyV2, Camel, AbyssWalker, Thimmy, AussieTanker, Panda and Desmond whom I'd game with for hours upon hours during my teenage years. I'd occasionally wander into other servers like Arcadia and befriend people like Straight_Bender out of a silly accident, I remember a situation where I was tracking and shooting at a suspected traitor when Straight_Bender's head went into my crosshair and I accidentally shot and killed him on his T-round, he forgave me even though it was my fault and I told him the next round I was going to be a traitor and I would make it up to him; what do you know, I was a traitor; that round ended with me handing him a Jihad/Knife and letting him do whatever he wanted with it. Even someone like C'etat Moi who was very kind to newcomers like myself. Or the infamous AbyssWalker who'd join and instantly headshot everyone with his skills or cheats, I never really figured out the reason for his ban, he was an admin for a long period of time, then got banned. Waking up at 5am, playing on American ZS servers, going to school, going home and grinding TTT. That was my life for a long time. But for all that gaming, everything else took a toll, my relationships and grades crumbled, so I took a long 6-12 month break from gaming altogether. I came back around a year later, ready to grind. Many of the servers I'd loved died out, like Revlaks. Arcadia was a familiar name, so I'd play everyday when I got home from school. To be honest, maybe I posted this because I'm not satisfied with the conclusion of my status within the community. I've thought about another appeal but I couldn't bring myself to do it based on the odds of the success. I've thought about owning up to cheating and asking for forgiveness, but that'd just be checkmate with minor compliments such as 'at least you're honest'. I think maybe ultimately I came to post this erase a lot of my regrets. Thank you to those who read the entirety of this. But I'm afraid this is really turning into some sort of horribly written ban appeal that was put into the introductions forum. There's only a couple of things I wonder about: How is the Arcadia Gaming community? Why did AbyssWalker get banned? Was he really cheating? If you were a banning admin and someone owned up to cheating and showed remorse to their actions would they receive a lesser sentence? Any of the old guard from the Revlaks Wizard Palace community that ended up seeking refuge here? (Other than Kat and AussieTanker) I'm also aware that if I really wanted to play I could create another steam account and share my games to myself. I've done this before, but I'd rather be known as myself, not anther person. Alright, this is the end of this post, and possibly the last time I'm involved with this community whatsoever. Interesting how my conclusion is in the Introductions. This community is a very good one, keep it that way.